24 Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."
I am Thomas. I am a disciple of God who needs proof to believe He is still alive. I hear stories from others about the miracles God has worked in and among them and because I have not seen them myself, I doubt. I do not doubt the existence of God for I know that He has worked many times in my life, I do however plead to see His “holes”. I want so much for Christ to reveal Himself to me to prove He is with me. I yearn to see the greater things He has promised us in John 14:12. But here’s the thing, I do not lack faith, for I have faith. What I lack is the trust that God will make perfect my faith. I fear that I am never going to receive the gifts of the Spirit. But I hold strong to the Word of God which time and again defeats my anxiety and fear and covers it with hope and boldness.
We are heirs of God, sons of the living God! Because of this truth we do not have a spirit of fear because our spirit is of Christ. Our spirit testifies on our behalf. Because our spirit is also God’s spirit and knows better than our heart, it testifies to our Lord for us! This is speaking in tongues, when our words fail us, when our heart is troubled, our spirit cries out for us to our father, Screaming ABBAH! With this promise of heirship we inherit not only Christ’s forgiveness and eternal destiny but we also inherit His spirit and through His spirit we are conquers of this world. Through His spirit we receive the gifts He has given us. Our faith is not circumstantial nor is it’s growth based on believing. Our faith was given to us when we received Christ as Lord of our lives. In him our faith is made perfect and complete because He is the author and perfecter of our faith.
When we ask we must believe, not on the circumstances but in the power of God who has overcome the world. We must believe the promise Christ made that when we ask, we will receive. If we believe because of circumstances in our lives or others lives we WILL NOT RECEIVE, we are a double-minded man unstable in all we do. We can not say I believe it will happen because it happened for a friend, nor can we say I don’t believe I will receive because I never have. We simply need to build our faith by continually adding to it, not by testing God or His commands but by following His commands. We are to add to our faith goodness; to goodness, knowledge; to knowledge, self control; to self control, perseverance; to perseverance, godliness; to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. All these things come from God and are made perfect by God. We need all of these to know God. But if we do not have these Christ says that we are nearsighted and blind, and have forgotten that we are cleansed from past sins.
I began writing this and had to stop after the first paragraph. It took a week before I could continue writing. I had to search God’s word and pray so that I could know God. I had to seek what His will is for me so that I can pray His will. I think that there is a “doubting Thomas” in each of us because we are human. Christ knows this, that is why He shows His power through signs and wonders, “so that we might see and believe”. Thomas gets a bad rap but I think he was simply not basing His faith on circumstances. He asked God to show him so that he might believe and that is exactly what Jesus did. We are to believe that Christ wants us to believe. He wants to reveal himself to us. We just need to stop doubting and put our trust in the God who has overcome the world
26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 27 Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe. 28 Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" 29 Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." 30 Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31 But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
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